Heart and prayers…

My heart and my prayers go out to the hearts and homes of so many…

This letter was sparked initially by a horrific event that took place last year in August 2011…

30 amazing soldiers were killed. One soldier was an incredibly brave dog, trained to save lives, just as all the other soldiers were. For him, as was many of the soldiers on this mission, it was their last mission before returning home… Most of these soldiers had families, children, several with children on the way as well. This hit home for many of us here in Hawaii. One of the soldiers was from Maui. This was someone many of us knew and loved. Many of us here had grown up with him. Played as children. Went to school with. Some trained with him later in the Armed Forces. Some who were close with his family…The list goes on…The point being, when someone we know leaves this life it of course hits us more than all the others who leave this world every day that we do not know at all. Understandably so, of course…

Another issue I see each day is the media focus when it comes to deaths. Movie stars, musicians, models, this takes front row and center stage so often. Perhaps the media should put a little more emphasis on the every day, real people who die. Perhaps they should emphasize the fact that they matter just as much. That a father, a mother, a husband, a wife dying have just as much of an impact on someone or many someone(s)… Something that should mean more than a famous person no longer being able to put a new movie out…

My heart, my prayers, so much of my thoughts go out to those who have lost their lives for all the years that have past. I wish the fighting could end. I wish the war would be stopped. I wish our amazing men and women could serve our Country in ways that would not end their own existence, or the existence of others.  I cannot change or stop this War. I cannot stop lives from ending. I do not have this power. All I can do, is hold a place in my heart for all those whose hearts no longer beat. All I can do is be here to help, comfort, offer support and love to each and every one who was left behind in the loss of their Husband, Wife, Father, Mother, Son, Brother, Sister, etc… When people leave this life, they know peace. It’s those of us left here that wrestle and struggle each day to know true peace in our lives. We cannot bring back lives. But we can honor others lives, by truly honoring our own. For anyone who has touched your life, and is no longer here, let them live on, by living on through your living…

I write this note with tears in my eyes, with a heavy heart, and with a sadness for our world as a whole. May people realize what truly matters the most in this life. May it not continually take the lives of others for others to wake up…to appreciate life…to know it’s very basic and truly limitless value.

To each and every person who has ever lost a loved one, I am truly sorry. There are no words I can offer to lessen the pain. FInd a way to step outside your own grief, when you are ready, and in your own time and your own way, as best you can, and use that same energy to help someone else who is feeling it as well. Have your time to mourn, but then find a way to spend that incredible amount of energy is a positive manner. Help others. Give your support and love. Offer it even when someone says it is not needed. Try. Do. Give. Love. Be compassionate…Even if something doesn’t directly affect you, imagine those it does and feel for them, whether you know them or not…

Often people will carry survivors guilt. They question why someone so good, so amazing, so loved would leave this life, and they would be spared. This happens no matter how people pass away, as we all react differently to circumstances and death in general. It’s a natural reaction, and a very common one. Soldiers I believe know it even more than others. As do their families. I could write for days on things on this nature, but quite simply I want only to say, that the best way any living human being can honor, truly honor anothers life, is by choosing to honor their own. No one who is no longer here, would wish upon another, or their families that same pain… No one who has passed away would feel better, if you did too. We do not pick and choose who goes, and when and how. Sometimes the reasoning, the questioning and all that comes with understanding the why’s and how’s leads us only to realizing some things just aren’t for us to understand, but rather for us to accept. With life comes death. This is the very basic cycle of life to begin with. Doesn’t make it any easier, doesn’t make it any less painful. And it sure as hell doesn’t tuck a baby in a night and keep him or her warm by a parents voice and existence that is no longer here.

For those who no longer remain, we must make our remaining worth while. We must be the very best people we can be. We must acknowledge how truly blessed we are to have even woke up today.

To all of those affected by this recent loss. To all of those effected by any loss. Please know that you are not alone. That no matter how dark a time you feel yourself to be in, light still exists. And people like myself, people like so many I know, we are here. We are here to help you. Our hands are reached out and extended, you need only reach out back and accept it… Never get lost in your own grief. Know there is always someone to turn to. Know that people, whether they be family or friends, or even strangers, people are here to help. To every one who is reading this right now, please know I am here, with an open heart. If there is anything that I can possibly do to help, I would like to. I may not have the financial resources to help in those ways, but I do have an ear to listen, a shoulder to lean upon, and a heart that is always open for anyone. If you need someone to talk too, please reach out to anyone you feel comfortable with. If you feel alone, know that you are not. If you need help with your children, someone to talk with them at a time that you are to overwhelmed, please allow someone to help. Need not be me, just let it be whomever it is you need. If you need resources, support groups, counseling, and information to help you, please again feel free to contact me. If I cannot help you personally in any area, I most certainly can direct you to someone who can.

Please never be afraid to ask for help, nor see it as weakness. The strongest of people look to others when in need of strength… Weakness is having the ability to be helped, and choosing not to be. Not asking… Know you can. Know you are never alone. Please reach out and have faith that someone will take your hand…
Contact Information:
Peggy Kan Hai

Email me
www.peggykanhai.org
www.mauipositivevibez.com

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