Roots and Wings

Roots and Wings… That’s the best we can do as parents… Give them roots to ground them and allow them to know what is truly important in this life, family, faith, love, respect, honesty and people not things… And give them big beautiful wings to allow them to fly wherever their journey takes them…

And so begins his Sophomore year!!! Go get em Brandon!!! It’s going to be an awesome year. Give 100%, and have fun too. lol. Can’t believe it’s this time again and that you’re 19 years old already. Life passes us bye so quickly. Cherishing all the amazing memories and looking forward to those yet to come. Make many my son, make ones worth having, and make ones worth cherishing for always. Be the young man we know you to be. Live from your heart and give of yourself always.

Brandon
We love you so much!!!

BELIEVE in all that is POSSIBLE !!!

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Update!!! BELIEVE in all that is POSSIBLE!!!

Today was my appt for update on all newest labs, pathology, bone marrow biopsy results, genetic testing, etc…. and to go over what our next steps are… It’s a lot to explain, and I’ll try not to make a novel, lol. It’s a very positive report. With systemic cancers studies show over the years that they go in one direction, and that’s progressing. Some quicker then others. Some less. One thing they don’t see is them slowing down, or improving without treatments and such… Well, it’s with a very happy heart that I report, mine are slowing their roll. Not only are they not progressing at the rate they believed they would be, but they are slowing, and some areas actually improved greatly. Not just on my blood work, but on a cellular level, and within my marrow. I would love to say, YAY I AM CANCER FREE. But, it’s still there, but it’s not moving at the rate it was, and it’s lessoning in the amount of abnormal cells, chromosome changes, and my blood counts in the areas that were dangerously low, are increasing. Not quite in normal range, but better than where it’s been in 2 years time- at least for the white blood count… And the areas that shifted only this past year, and that had spiked and were really high, have lowered substantially, while some others that were low showed a nice creep upwards…

I know a lot of people don’t believe in natural healing methods and things outside of western medicine… We do, very much so, and have expressed that and many methods we’re trying and such… We’ve been on the all organic way of living for years, after all that went on with CDiff, and I never tolerated much else since then… We went beyond just what goes into our bodies, but even all aspects of what goes on our bodies, which we absorb internally as well. Esp with the move here and learning what more was going on with me, and how bad things like just the water here are. So full of chemicals. We weren’t drinking it at all, of course, but we were washing our dishes, our clothes, our bodies and submerging in it in the pool and baths… So as you know we changed the pool to a mineral salt pool… and then we changed the water in and out of the home to chemical free water with an incredible 18 stage filtration system (and a much much better PH level). Anything my body doesn’t have to fight against is an improvement, and where I might not be able to change having imbalances like cancer when life hands you those cards, we can certainly change the environmental factors that are within our control, as best as possible. I’ve always believed that an alkaline rich body is so crucial to maintain, and that when it’s in imbalance, and acidic, diseases, bacterias, fungals, viruses and such can thrive, but when alkaline it’s not an environment they can live or thrive within. I guess I was proven wrong I suppose in finding these damn cancers and abnormalities in my chromosomes. But then again I still believe that while I had CDiff, my body was so focused and fighting with all it had against that, that my guard was down, and my body full of nothing but toxins, that other shit could have went a little cookoo in there. Same goes for always having pain, and a body focusing on healing so much else… Who knows? Impossible to know for sure what caused or causes what… But going a step further, and wiping out what little sugar I was ingesting, and staying on the clean, organic diet, and adding things that help bring oxygen to my cells, and charge my cells, and help my body regain it’s own ability to fight against crap is something we can do… and what we’ve been going… The PEMF therapy is something we believe in and have seen people heal in so many areas from doing so over the years… I’m using it daily and have been since June… Now my August results show changes that show such amazing improvements, and we cannot ignore that. According to my Docs, whatever I am doing, whatever faith I’m focusing my energy and belief in, whatever prayers and positivity are being shared with us and by us to others, something is working and helping. So whatever the reason, we are gonna keep doing what we’re doing. Keep praying. Keep believing. Keep loving… and go from there…

We are going to keep monitoring things closely. We’re going to see if things continue to improve, stabilize or progress in the wrong direction and our actions will be made from there. It’s a lot to try and explain. Just know that we truly believe in miracles, prayers, faith, and most of all love and the power in them all. We believe everyones body has the ability to find its balance, and a number of different avenues to helping it doing so. And we believe it’s gotta come from your mind, heart, spirit and soul too. Any step forward and further away from yuck, is a damn great step. lol.

This is a very positive update and one we wanted to share with you all. Thank you so much for all the prayers, the encouragement, the positivity and most of all the love. Everyone out there who has been sending your amazing positivity and prayers out into the universe and upstairs to the powers that be, it’s helping, it’s being heard, felt and embraced with all we are. Thank you so so so very much… and please keep the good coming. It has power unlike anything else in the world. This I truly believe!!!

Ohana SkyDiving Day

A family that flies together… SOARS forever…

Awesome day… So last March I booked us for skydiving for Brandon’s 19th Birthday. Something I promised him I would take him I would do once he was an adult… When the date came around to do it, it was the day after my Core Bone Marrow Biopsy last April (which got scheduled only 2 days prior). I was sooo sore and the anesthesia made me sick, so we let them know and they said it was no problem and we had a years time to reschedule without loosing the $$$… Brandon instead went and got his first tattoos with Matt and all worked out great…

So with Brandon heading back to school in less than 2 weeks, it was time… One thing I’ve never done in his lifetime, is break my word to him. I’m not about to start now. Don’t know what the next year is going to hold in store with all going on, but the reality is we never know if tomorrow will even be gifted to us…

So what do you do when you’re diagnosed with cancer and told your clock is ticking? You do the same thing you did yesterday and the same thing you hope you will get to do tomorrow – YOU LIVE!!! hahal. Time isn’t a given for anyone. Life isn’t a given.No matter how healthy, how happy, how anything you are in this life, one thing we all need to be is full of gratitude for having being gifted life at all. Don’t ever stop living. None of us our getting out of here alive, so be ALIVE for all of your days, in all ways.

Great great great day! I first skydived on Kauai and was hooked! Never nervous, always excited!!! Yes, I’m weird… Matt isn’t a fan of heights, and had only jumped while in the military but he was super game. And this was Brandon’s first time, and he too isn’t a fan of heights at all, but I think this won’t be his last time jumping. lol. I walked to the plane with my prosthetic, jumped without it, and then put it back on after. The risk of it flying off was kinda high and we don’t have another 20K to make a new one. Nor did I wanna kill anyone while it flew through the skies and knocked anyone out. haha. I jumped first, then Brandon, then Matt. What a blast!!!

PS: As I jumped out from the plane I yelled FUCK YOU CANCER!!! I”M LEAVING YOU IN THE SKY ON THIS JUMP!!! BYE BYE@!!! (pardon my potty mouth, but it was kinda warranted on this!!! lol!!!
SkyDive Me

Keeping our word… Keeping our promises… Keeping it real… That’s what it’s all about… Life might try and get in the way sometimes. But you have to choose what’s important to you, who is important to you and make the best choices that go with those people and things…

SkyDive1

 

Happiest Mommy in the Universe

Today I am the happiest Mommy in the entire universe!!!!

3 days shy of 3 months! 87 days to be exact. That is how long it’s been since I got to hug my baby boy! Yes he’s an adult now, but he’ll alway be my baby boy. In his entire lifetime I have never gone more than a month without seeing him in person. And that didn’t happen until college. He was home at least once a month for a weekend, so I was able to graduate in baby steps to this empty nest thing. lol.

To say I missed him is an understatement. To say I’m beyond proud of him and the man he’s grown to become is an even bigger understatement. It was so important to me that his summer, be HIS summer. We had booked his summer plans before I was diagnosed, and I didn’t want anything changing those plans. Life moves on each day, it moves forward each day. It’s our choice to move with it, or to try and stop time, which as everyone knows, just isn’t possible. I don’t want time to stop. I don’t want anyones life to be on hold or to be held back just because we hit a slight snag. If I have taught him anything in this life, it’s to LIVE with every ounce of who you are and never to stop believing in all that is possible… And to always walk at your own beat, step your own step, travel your own path, and be on your Journey.

Seeing your children happy, at least for me, that is the single greatest joy I have ever known in my life. We have many jobs over our lifetime, we hope we do good, we hope we get things right, we do our best… but the one, the very one job we hope we don’t blow to badly is that of being a parent. We can do all we can do, and things still go in crazy directions, because we cannot control our children. We cannot make their choices for them. We cannot stop life from happening. We can do our best and hope they learn from our experiences and all that jazz, but at the end of the day, it’s up to them to make the choices that best serve their lives, or not too. People tell me all the time, you did a good job, or things of that nature. I didn’t do anything, but have the greatest pleasure of bringing this amazing being into this world. He did a good job. He made the choices he has made, and continues to make. He learned from his own mistakes. He grew and matured at his pace, his way. What I did, was allow him too, and to know better than to try and control it all. I’ve seen kids make some really bad choices, who had the most loving, nurturing, very present parents. I’ve seen kids who had little to know guidance, supervisions, support or love, and they grew up to make a HUGE difference in this world. The choices were their own to make. We can only do our best and allow them to think, act, feel and be for themselves. That’s my theory anyway.

So happy to see him. Hug him. And have some major quality time with him before he goes back to school. And so beyond grateful for his unrelenting faith in me, and knowing I will do far more than just get through this all. That I will do more than survive, but thrive. His faith, his belief in me and his love, mean so much more than I can even explain. He’s watched me go through a lot during his years on this earth. And he never has doubted that all will be fine. Doesn’t mean it isn’t difficult, doesn’t mean he’s naive, just means a little of me did rub off on this little bugger. His HOPE and COURAGE tattoos that he did for his 19th birthday when I had my first biopsy say it all and hold a meaning that only he truly understands within himself.

I love you Brandon. I look forward to seeing all that is left to come in your life, and being here to always let you know, that you are exactly where you are meant to be, right when you’re meant to be there. I am not just proud to be your Mom, I am proud to know you, really know you, and know that you are out there in this amazing world and will truly make a difference and make it a better place to be! Don’t you ever give up on your dreams and goals. Always go the extra mile. And don’t ever become one of the sheeple, or I’ll kick your ass. haha. Welcome home! So excited for you to get back to school at the end of the month too, and start your Sophomore year and be one step closer to making your dreams and goals for the future your realities.
bmanhome1

Bmanhome2

It all comes back – in one way or another…

Every day we’re faced with choices. Remember every choice you make impacts your life. Think about everything you put out into the universe. It all comes back one way or another. Even the words you don’t speak, but think. They have just as great an impact, and even unspoken; you’re still putting them out there. Do your best each day to give no power to the negatives that exist, and rather to focus on the incredible positives. Put it out there, share it, and watch as your life reflects it!

Biopsy 2 – Done and doing great !!!

Biopsy 2

All done !!! Safe secure and sore !!! Lol! Everything went great and they got a solid one inch piece of marrow and over 20ccs for all the tests 🙂 Ouchie but doing great!

Changed things up at last minute as I didn’t even know it would be an option to do this without anesthesia … It was pre-explained to me that I had to be put under, same like I was last time… But with the added risks of knock out and flat lining more than once from it before and always getting so sick after- well – why not try without out this round ??? Haha!

Will not lie one bit it friggen hurt but well worth not putting more chemicals in my body and having that after lag to recover from! So cool that it’s even allowed to be done this way, because to me, the anesthesia really adds a lot more risks, and it has a HUGE impact on my bones with my osteoporosis. So drill drill drill and ice ice ice !!! lol…They can numb the outer part, but there is no way to numb inside your bone ! Maybe some day with the amazing technology and medical advances, they’ll be able to do so… In the meantime, going forward since these core marrow biopsies and nuclear tests that need to come from actual samples deep into the core, I will elect to always do it without anesthesia.

Doc said I’m the only patient who didn’t cry in her 15 years of doing them and had zero anxiety… Told them no thank you to the adavant to relax as just focused on breaths like when you’re in childbirth lol. In through the nose, out the mouth, without moving, lol. Top shape:) The Doctor said your husband said you’re the toughest being on the planet and I would have to agree! Lol! They were a wonderful team!!!

Thank you all so much for all the prayers and positive vibes! The light and love was there with me and with Matt throughout ! We loves you all!

 

aug 6 2015 biopsy