All things are possible… It’s finding the right fit for YOU!!!

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Sooooo the verdict is in. We are starting over making another new leg. But it’s a positive step forward…. Literally, lol… They are starting with a custom liner, made specifically in the exact shape of my stump, which isn’t the usual rounded shape or full of much meat… I have a very boney and short stump compared to the norm, since the Doc saved as much as was possible when removing the leg. The Goal of our new Prosthetics guy is ironically the same goal I have… and that is to get me back living my lifestyle as I normally would prior to loosing my leg – more so prior to the accident… It will take a little while since the custom liner is made in another state and takes 4 weeks, but once that comes in we can start on a new test socket and get things moving right along. I’m excited and have a really good feeling about it all, and am looking forward to something that fits me like it was meant for me specifically and it’s going to be a K4, which means ACTIVE ACTIVE ACTIVE leg and foot and not just built to be happy to walk, but built to LIVE baby!!! They listened and understood what my goals are, and are helping me to bridge the gap from where I am at, to where I would like to be. All things are possible, it’s just finding the right fit for YOU. Nothing but positive with a little more positive on the side. lol. Wishing you all a wonderful weekend.

There are no limitations…

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Yay! Today I meet with my new Prosthetics Company. Very hopeful, positive and full of faith that they are going to be friggen awesome and help me get back to walking and down the road far far more…

One of the joys of an amputated leg is the changes that take place with the residual stump. Been dealing with some other medical stuff and I guess in loosing weight, so did my stump. It hasn’t been fitting right for awhile now but we had to wait on the insurance and referrals and all that jazz. Finally got it all ironed out. We’re hoping some simple tweaks can be done to adjust the socket. Right now what’s happening is called I’m bottoming out. So where I’m not supposed to ever have any stump weight bearing because of the severe damage to the bones prior, I need to be held in higher up and never have contact on the base of the stump.. Well mine is slamming into the bottom with every step. So that of course makes me in the prosthetic very little. I didn’t even realize how bad it was till we did the Color Run in January- and I looked at the video Matt took after and I was limping like crazy. I knew it was causing more pain, but I’m in pain all the time and just figured it was a more elevated day, lol. Matt had asked me weeks before why I didn’t mention to him that it wasn’t fitting right, and I said what do you mean? He noticed it was causing me to hyperextend again backwards at my knee. That was one of our initial issues with the first leg… Perhaps I was in denial and just doing my usual grin and bare it. Who knows. What I do know is we’re heading in the right direction now, and they have some great companies here, so I know I’ll be in good hands, and soon a good leg, haha.

I have been referred to so many different docs and centers for medical crap we’ve been tackling in other areas of my health, and def learning my way around, lol. But this is one of the few appts I’m looking forward too. Even though to be honest, it’s so damn painful when they try and make adjustments, cause you have to put the leg on over and over and over again to try and see what’s hitting where, and seeing how you walk. But it’s a pain that is worth the outcome… Once we get the leg back on track, I KNOW I will be able to start walking a lot more. And I’m friggen tired of scootering around. I envision myself reaching the day where I can wake up in the morning and put my prosthetic on, and be able to wear it till it’s bedtime. You have no idea how much I dream about that. It CAN and it WILL happen. Nothing but positive. And soon I’ll be able to get back out on my board- summer is right around the corner- and then some hiking, rock climbing, soooooo sooooo much to enjoy.

I am also still very hopeful that one morning I will wake up and the pain will be gone. We knew the realities because of the original and subsequent damage, and we knew the risks when we had surgery to remove the large nerve tumors. I never imagined to be honest though, that I’d still be in pain 24/7 this far down the road. Can’t lie, it kinda sucks. But I truly believe once we have a solid fitting prosthetic and I build up to walking daily more and more that it will help me in return to have less pain… My Doc is just as hopeful as I am, and that helps a lot too.

May my Prosthetics tech have as much vision, insight and refusal to see limitations as I do. lol. May we be as perfect a fit as my leg soon will be :)….

Through the struggles you find your greatest power!!!

You have a power within you that can drive you wherever you need to go. You have a strength that often you didn’t even know existed until your knocked down, and the 10 count commences. In those last couple seconds a beast takes over. This is the power within us all. Fight the battles that exist. Do so with all you are. And whatever the results, you will be a champ for doing so. We all have goals, as we all have struggles. Come at both with the wisdom, strength and tenacity that you were created with. No one ever promised life would be easy. And in truth it’s through the struggles that we find the greatest power within ourselves, and see the truest nature of others as well. Wishing you all a day filled with anything that makes you laugh and brings a warmth to your heart. Make every moment count, and know how very much you count in this world. Sending love and blessings to you all today.

We all have a right to our own opinions and choices…

Every day events happen in our lives that test our spiritual faith and our basic faith in general.. Whether it be your own life, or lives of those connected to you, or simply things happening in the world. How can the worlds news not affect any persons spiritual faith? Death of innocent children? People shot for no reason? Women raped? Mothers/Father killed? Spouses killed? Behaviors excused based on social status. The world is full of people who make bad choices that impact far more then themselves. The world is also full of incredible people who live their lives to serve others, to serve the God they believe in, a greater source, a creator, whatever path a person chooses to travel. Perhaps some follow a more evil entity and believe that’s the path they are meant to travel. So many questions exist, sometimes the answers never come.

How many times has someone shot others, then killed themselves? Never answering the why’s? If someone breaks into your house and robs you, attacks you, but was on drugs, then it wasn’t their fault, because they were “hi”…. If someone shoots someone, then it’s the gun that gets blamed. Why do we always need a thing to blame? Why is it not the individual who makes the choice to do the wrong behavior? Why when a Dad kills his own children is he a monster, but when a Mother does so, she must have mental issues? A mother would never harm her children if she were in her right mind, but a father would? C’mon…

We generalize, we criticize, we blame and we excuse. These are the kinds of things that make us question God, life, self… questions that bring about only more questions. Have you ever spent time in the pediatric ward of a hospital for terminal patients? I have… Ever spent time working with people dying of AIDS, Cancer, and a laundry list of other terminal ailments? I have… Nothing is more heartbreaking then terminal children for me. They have not had a chance to screw up, to make bad choices, and their life is already coming to an end? I would pray and search for ways to understand… Was this their karma from a previous life? Were they murders, racist, rapists, monsters in another life, and this is their price now? That couldn’t be it, cause that would mean their parents and everyone who loved them was horrible in another life too, cause they were all suffering… I could get lost is the questions and never come up with a solid answer that could ever make sense of a child dying….

I learned a very long time ago that some questions will always be questions… And it’s when we stop asking them, that we stop knowing compassion, care, and empathy. We were created to love ourselves, and one another. To not see ourselves as greater than or less than. Live a life always allowing yourself questions. No one persons way is “the way.” We are allowed to have our own opinions, our own thoughts, and to make our own choices. People spend more time arguing religion than they do living true to the one they claim to follow… They do the same with politics. We are all individuals and we each have our own brain. You get to use it your way. Doesn’t matter if you are republican, democrat, or undecided… That is your choice, and not for anyone else to judge. Same goes for religion. Are you Christian, Catholic, Jehovah Witness, Mormon, Baptist, Bahai, Islamic, Jewish, the list goes on…. ? Does it matter? Is my way better, is my way right or wrong? All that matters is one simple thing…. and that is asking yourself….is it right for me?