8 years ago today was the night of the car accident I was in. An accident that ended the life of a young man and has forever since impacted not only my own life, but the life of those who love me as well. Who would have imagined that for 8 years I’d continue to be having surgeries, recovering, getting back on my feet and walking after being told that would NEVER be possible… later loosing my footie…but heck yah learned to walk again… a year after footie was amputated, and a mere 3 months after I was finally walking again from that round, we find out my leg needs to be amputated. Something I was told the night of the accident had to be done, but we all know how that story went as well… all these years later there we were- loosing the leg…and then almost another year later the craziness with the tumors and there’s been so much else medically with this accident, that I could fill a book. But the leg situation has def been the most up front, in your face, ongoing craziness that can be seen from the outside… I have days that I’m on two feet for a little while, and it’s incredible. And I have days where I’m not at all. I will never wake up in the middle the night and be able to just walk into the bathroom to pee or get a drink of a water. Simple little things are missed. I’d be full of shit if I didn’t say I miss having my leg. I wish I could say I don’t miss having pain, but I have faith that one morning I will wake up and the pain will be gone or be so faint in comparison to all it’s been that I won’t even notice it. Although it may be difficult, I can honestly say I am HAPPY and feel beyond BLESSED every single morning that I do wake up at all.
So what if I have to hop on my knee scooter and cruise around a bit and can’t always be on two feet. Beats the hell out of the wheel chairing it everywhere like before. Beats the hell out of months in bed that I’ve spent year after year after year having more surgeries and down time then I can count anymore. Beats the hell out of being no longer in this world. And that it was it comes down to people. Being grateful for being here at all. So many people take the simple act of breathing for granted. Life is the greatest gift that exists. Life gives us the opportunity to do far more than just be here. It gives up the opportunity to love and be loved. To give without concern for receiving. To do, simply because we can. To be compassionate and kind and live from a place within us that knows no boundaries and no limits… The reality is simple- Life is crazy. Twists and turns come our way, and we can either try and fight against then, roll with them, grow with them, or make whatever choice best fits the situations…
I always reflect on things. I don’t live in the past. But I do look at how the things shape our lives. My heart is full of so much love, and it also houses soreness for a life lost that I will always be connected to. The accident was not my fault, and it was of someone else’s choosing… It doesn’t make it any easier to know someone is no longer in this world because of that night… It’s hard to explain if you’ve never been through something life this. But while my heart is sore, I am beyond grateful for being blessed to survive that night. And to continue to find a way to thrive through all that has come, and in life in general. I was spared that night, and although I never lived my life wasting a moment, I can tell you I certainly have continued to never waste even a second. And others around me have grown through my experiences and learned to fully appreciate their own lives, and others lives all the more. This is a positive as are many that came from such a terrible night. Positives can always be found, even when negatives are there.
Life can change in the blink of an eye… Take nothing and take no one for granted – EVER!!! Enjoy the moments everyone. Those we love are the greatest blessings we could ever have, as is this life. Often the things in this life that you find matter the most, aren’t things at all. They are people. And if there not, then you might be cherishing, valuing and hanging on to the wrong things… Happy Thanksgiving weekend everyone… Think about all you are thankful for and let it show in all you are and all you do!!!!
A very special thank you going out to the most incredible Ohana a human being could ever have for always believing in me and what I was capable of and reminding me of it whenever a kick in the ass was needed too. lol. I am so thankful, so grateful and so blessed because of the amazing people in my life who literally loved me back to life in ways many can’t imagine. THANK YOU!!!