My own personal good bye to 2012… And what a year it was. It had it’s hards, just a couple speed bumps. lol. And it had it’s blessings. Loosing my leg wasn’t an easy thing to have happen. And many people ask or talk about what a difficult choice it must have been. And what was it like to have to make that kinda choice. There was no choice. The choice was to live. And in keeping it, I would not live, so what choice was there? The only real choice is in choosing to accept it and adapt to the changes in life it brings. Just as I did- we did- when the choice was made to loose half of my foot. Life brings about choices. They often have much more to do than just with the immediateness of them, and rather what follows. I am so crazy blessed to still be here after all that has went on in my life. I’m def testing the 9 lives theory and just gonna pretend I’m a cat or that I was one in a previous life, haha.
This amazing year brought about so many wonderful things. Seeing so many people come together in our community to help, support, pray and simply love. Seeing people take better stock in their own lives when it comes to what is truly important. We met the most amazing people throughout the journey of the surgery itself on this last one, and all that’s come in the rehabbing and prosthetic process. As well as all that went on with the C diff nightmare. Because of both experiences new doors have opened, that have and will allow Matt and myself to better help others. And that is in the end what our lives are all about. We weren’t put on this earth to serve only ourselves, we were created to better serve others, and help others better serve themselves, and others… It just keeps paying forward.
Nothing that I have ever gone through has been about me simply going through it, it’s about me learning from the experience of it all, and being able to apply that to help others in some way. How can I best help an amputee, or someone with c diff or someone battling cancer or someone who’s survived some horrific personal traumas in this life? By doing so myself. Sitting there as a Therapist and trying to help someone through something you’ve never lived doesn’t have the same impact as when you, yourself have lived it in some manner. When war vets sit down with their shrink to re adapt to life after watching their friends die, do you think they take well to that therapist saying; “I understand exactly what you’re feeling.” Most Vets get up and leave, because the person saying that to them has never even been in battle. You can’t claim to know what anyone is feeling if you have not seen tragedy or survived traumas. We all feel things very differently. We all handle things our own way. There is no right or wrong, as long as whatever path you are on, you are trying to handle the things in your life that weigh heavy upon you. I truly believe with all I am, that all I have been through is simply so I can better help others. It gives me some insight I could not have previously had on certain subjects. It doesn’t make me know how anyone is feeling. It just helps others realize if they are choosing to open up, that perhaps I have some small inclination of what it’s like in my own way… And perhaps make them more willing to open up at all.
Things learned in textbooks and classes don’t come close to comparing what real life teaches you. And what real life has taught me is that how my life plays out is up to me. How my energy is spent, is up to me. How my choices are made, is up to me. I know the power of my every thought, choice and action. I know the reaction that it can yield can be a great one or horrific one based on the intention of mine… I know that I cannot control all that comes about, but I can always control how I handle it…whether the hards or the greats…
Take time today on this last day of 2012 and reflect upon your life. Take a look at the things you think turned out wonderfully, and take a look at the things that didn’t. Try and recall what your New Years resolutions were last year… Did you follow through with them? Are you re making them again this year? If so what actions will you take that will change the outcome and bring your resolutions to fruition? Look back at 2012, at the loved ones you may have lost, and remember times shared that brought smiles and laughter. And shed a tear, or two or many, and know that those tears are just love… Cherish your good memories, and let go of any of the yuck you’ve hung onto this year… Don’t take it with you into 2013. And realize quite simply it’s up to you, if you choose to.
Wishing you all a truly blessed and beautiful 2013. May it bring to you so much deserved happiness and joy. May it be all that you choose for it to be. And may it be filled with memories worth taking forward into any other years that we each be so blessed to have… Happy New Year!!!
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